


Sherwood Tales

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: Robin Hood (BBC 2006)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crack, Episode Tag, F/M, Ficlet Collection, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Romance, community: rh_drabblefest, community: treatmuchright
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2008-05-02
Updated: 2008-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 22:10:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 3,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10795755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: A collection of ficlets written for various prompts and fests at the Livejournal Robin Hood BBC comms. Various characters and pairings (given in chapter titles); some serious, some crack.





	1. Schadenfreude (Prince John, gen)

Being oh so disappointed with the incumbent Sheriff, Prince John had already decided to do away with him. That Sir Guy had practically landed in his lap was surely a sign that this was meant to be.

John stoked Guy’s righteous anger and whispered promises of power in his ear. Kill Robin Hood and earn his gratitude. Kill Vaizey and become Sheriff himself.

So far so good, but to make things really entertaining, John also told Vaizey to kill Guy.

Last man standing…it was delightful to watch, and a distraction for when he wasn’t flirting with Isabella or terrorizing peasants.


	2. Stew (Much, Allan, gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much is preparing dinner but Allan is convinced that’s not all that’s going on

“Much!” bellowed Robin.

Much appeared, rubbing grubby hands on his stained apron. “What, I’m getting supper on!”

Robin sighed. “Did you or did you not threaten to skin Allan?”

Much, puzzled, looked from his master to Allan, who was trying to hide behind Robin.

“Why would I skin him?” he asked at last.

Allan leant over Robin’s shoulder. “I heard you,” he said, his voice shaking. “It was all, and then cut the vegetables and then skin the rat.”

Much’s forehead creased as he considered this.

“I said I was sorry for being a traitor,” Allan whined. “Why would you want to skin me?”

A smile spread over Much’s features. “I was just talking about supper,” he explained. “Skinning the meat and cutting the vegetables.”

“See,” Robin said. “A simple misunderstanding.”

Allan, reassured, nodded and mumbled “S’allright then,” and wandered off.

As Much walked away, Robin paled, realising what Much had meant.

“Much? You’re not putting *rat* in the stew, are you?”

Much’s fixed smile was not reassuring. “Tree rat? Squirrel.” He was unconvincing and he knew it and instead decided to go for defiance.  
“Well if you’d bring me a boar to cook, I’d cook boar, but you don’t! So, yes, there’s rat in the stew!”

Robin looked around desperately for assistance. “Half an hour,” he promised, jogging away. “We’ll get some nice juicy rabbits to cook.”

Much grinned as Robin ran away looking for help in finding rabbits. Allan reappeared from behind a tree.

“See,” the minstrel said with a wink. “Told you that’d work.”


	3. Weaponry (Marian, gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt Marian: doll

“Anna” had started out just like any other doll given to a young girl. A wooden head with a stick body and tiny hands and stubby feet, wrapped in cloth and dressed in a tiny smock. Strands of wool had been glued to the head and a delicate face painted on by steady hands.

By the end of the week Anna’s hair had been cut short, her dress split to the “knee” so that she could sit upon the wooden pony Marian had stolen from Robin, and grass stains were visible on her face.

Anna was a doll who Had Adventures, which involved exploring rabbit holes and swimming in the pond, and climbing trees.

When Marian’s father saw her doll lying on the table one night he sighed. A teaspoon was tucked into her belt made of plaited string – for beating evil men over the head with, Marian had explained.

A few days later Anna received a tiny bow and four blunt arrows for her arsenal because Edward knew there was no point denying Marian’s martial nature.

And a few years later, he gave Marian her first bow and arrows, and she added them to her stash of hairpin daggers.


	4. Deserving (Vaisey, gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sheriff muses on Guy's near drowning in the episode "Childhood"

Vaisey sat by the hearth, warming his hands. Gisborne was avoiding him this evening, perhaps afraid he’d say something about his enforced bathing he’d be made to regret.

Would Robin actually have drowned Guy, Vaisey wondered. After all, it would have been murder, no two ways about it. It was a pity that Marian had interrupted the proceedings; he’d been enjoying the look on the poor little outlaw’s face as he threatened to kill Gisborne and *actually* expected the Sheriff to comply with his demands! Didn’t Robin know that you couldn’t play hostages with someone who didn’t care? 

Come to that, did Gisborne realize he was replaceable? Or had he hoped for some sort of loyalty from his master? If so he’d been very disappointed.  
Vaisey smiled grimly. It was Gisborne’s own fault if he wasn’t on the Sheriff’s good scroll right now. He’d lately demonstrated stupendous incompetence, caused embarrassment-by-proxy to the Sheriff in getting punched out by his own bride at his own wedding, and burnt down a perfectly taxable property.

Worst of all, he’d been present when Vaisey was bathing and had looked away. Actually grimaced and turned away!

Yes, nearly drowned in a barrel.

Served Gisborne right.


	5. Distraction (Much, gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 10. Much enters a singing competition. Why does he do it, and does he win?

“Long Live King Richard,” Much warbled and bowed.

The crowd cheered though probably the drink helped them along. He’d attracted a lot of attention from the guards too. Any minute now he’d be hauled up in front of Prince John to explain why he didn’t love the would-be monarch.

Before finding out if he’d won, Much ran.

Besides, he’d only been providing a distraction so Robin and the others could slip past the guards and lift the delivery of fine linens Prince John had ordered from London.

Much, and many of the poor, slept soundly on fine sheets that night.


	6. An Education (Guards, gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:Guards:ye olde medieval night school  
> Summary:Two guards discuss the benefits of going to night school. CRACK!

"I've been thinkin'," said Gary.

Fred stared at his comrade. "Bout what?" 

They paused as a hooded rider entered the castle gates.

"Bout night school," Gary said. "Getting educated. There's classes, right, so you can get a better job."

"Better'n daytime at the gates?" Fred asked in amazement.

"Yeah. Indoors," Gary said in hushed tones. "Be nice in winter, guarding inside."

Fred mulled this over. "What kind of classes?"

"You know," Gary said. "Advanced Standing. Calling for reinforcements. Not getting lost in the castle. Swords and Daggers. And, um, Discretion."

"Discreton?" Fred asked, brow furrowed.

"Yeah," the erudite Gary said. "Like, not noticing when someone's in bed with someone they oughtn't be."

"I could do that," Fred said. "I'm good at not noticing stuff."

The rider galloped back past them at high speed.

"Oi, watch it," Gary said. "Honestly, some people. So, you want to sign up?"

"Yeah," Fred said as two more guards ran up yelling. "What's up, lads?"

"That was Robin Hood," Trevor said, panting. "Stole two silver candlesticks right off the dining room table he did!"

Gary shook his head. "And I thought you did that class in Guarding Silverware," he said accusingly.

Trevor and his friend hung their heads in shame.


	7. Redemption (Guy/Marian)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guy wants, desires, needs Marian.

He wants her.  
She's beautiful. She's from a noble family. His social standing would be improved by such a wife. And it would hurt Robin Hood for Guy to possess the object of his desire.

He desires her.  
She's compassionate and he longs the tenderness and concern she is capable of to be directed at him.

He craves her.  
It's an obsession, he knows, fantasising about having her in his arms, in his bed.

He loves her.  
Despite her distrust of him, despite her mercurial reception of his advances, constantly flickering between warmth and coolness towards him, he is in awe of her.

He needs her.  
She could be his one chance at doing something right in his life. She could be his redemption.


	8. Adoration (Prince John/Isabella)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Isabella/Prince John; do you love me  
> Summary: He asks if she loves him but it's not *love* he wants

"Do you love me?" Prince John asked, staring out of the tiny window.

"Yes, of course, your Highness," Isabella said. The door to his chamber was closed behind her and two guards stood without. There was a dagger in her boot, which gave her some comfort. He was a prince, yes, and powerful. Worth taking risks for, in return for the favours he could bestow upon her. Yet still…

He was also capricious, cruel, and highly unstable. Insecure men were often thus; Isabella knew that all too well. Didn't she see the same wildness in her brother's eyes, the doubt, the hurt, the (justified) suspicion that he was unloved?

"How much do you love me?" John asked. He turned, idly passed one finger through a candle flame.

"With all of my heart," she said as sincerely as she could manage.

"Good. Because I'd hate for that to not be the case," he said. "I would be very, very hurt by that."

Isabella stepped forward boldly and kissed him, hard, on lips that stayed oddly still beneath hers. She drew back, puzzled.

"Very well. You may go." John gestured to the door with a flick of one wrist. Isabella curtsied and left the room.

He'd asked her to prove her love and she had. And now, dismissed like a common servant, Isabella didn't know whether to feel relived or scorned. She'd heard rumours about him, but had never paid them much attention until now – nor did it matter if they were true or not. Because it wasn't love he wanted, she realized. It was adoration.


	9. Guilt (Guy/Marian)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guy's love for Marian was never going to be enough to save his soul. (s3 spoilers)

He kissed her roughly, hands at her cheeks, holding her to him. They were in his bed, she in a white nightgown, he stripped to the waist, sitting amongst a tangle of bedclothes.

"Marian," he whispered, pausing for breath. "Marian, I love you."

"Is that so?"

"Yes." He rubbed his face in her hair, soft and sweet-smelling. "You're everything to me. My reason to live. My only hope of doing something good in my life."

She pushed him away, a cold smile on her face. "Then why did you kill me?"

He saw the blood then, a spreading patch of red staining the white linen. "No," he whispered.

"You will pay for this," Marian said. "Your crimes. Your guilt. My blood on your hands."

He looked down to see his hands covered in her blood. "I'm sorry."

"That's not enough".

"Then what will be?" Guy asked in despair.

"Death will be your redemption," Marian said.

And Guy awoke, weeping.


	10. What Now? (Guy/Marian)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guy falls into the Nightwatchman's trap.

It took Guy a moment to gather his senses. He was lying on the ground, having taken a hard fall while chasing the Nightwatchman. As he struggled to get to his feet, his elbows and knees protesting – and his head throbbing – he realised he was tethered to a tree. The rope that had snagged his ankle was the reason he'd fallen in fact.

The Nightwatchman stepped from behind the tree, gazing coolly at him.

"Now what?" Guy snapped. His sword had flown from his grasp and from his prone position he couldn't reach his dagger.

The Nightwatchman crouched alongside him and ran gentle fingers over the purpling bruise on his forehead. Guy tried to pull away, startled. 

The Nightwatchman pulled out a dagger, pressed it beneath Guy's chin. One gloved hand nudged at his shoulder. Following the silent directions of his captor, Guy found himself lying on his back, powerless. The Nightwatchman, blade still pressed to Guy's throat, straddled him, sitting over his hips.

With his free hand the Nightwatchman pulled back his mask. Her mask, Guy realised, as her face was revealed, a little flushed from the exertion.

"Marian."

She smiled grimly. "Yes."

"And now what? Are you going to kill me?"

She leant over, pressed her lips to his, never moving the knife which kept him immobile.

"Well," she said, "what happens next is up to you."


	11. Training Day (Guy, Guards, gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Guards; vs. technology  
> Summary: Guy attempts to train the guards in the use of exciting new equipment,

"But what do you do with it?" Fred asked, frowning.

"You hit people with it," Guy said, amending quickly, "preferably the enemy."

Fred swung the morning star experimentally and hit Roger in the head. Roger gave a wail and fell to the floor. Guy glared at Fred.

*

"This is a shuriken," Guy explained. "The Sheriff had them shipped in especially. You throw –" He broke off and marched quickly to the side of the assembled guards, taking cover by a wagon. "You throw them, carefully, away from you."

Throwing stars fell into the dust, one made it several metres before startling a horse that proceeded to cause havoc by rearing and neighing, and the only one to actually hit anything was the one that embedded itself in the cart Guy was sheltering behind.

"Sir," Trevor called, "I think mine went in my eye."

Guy pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't getting paid enough for this.

*

"This," Guy said grimly, "is a trebuchet." At a raised hand, Guy sighed and said, "Yes, Fred, sort of like a giant catapult."

After two of the guards were sent sailing over the castle walls, one issuing a joyful "Wheeee!" sound as he disappeared into the distance, Guy went inside with a migraine. The rest of the guards shuffled about for a while and then decided to clear away the rest of the new equipment and call it a day.

"Hey," Wallace called, rooting through a box marked 'DANGER'. "What do you suppose these funny candles are?"


	12. Buying Love (Guy/Marian)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Guy/Marian; gift  
> Summary: Marian isn't easily impressed by trinkets but he has little else to offer

Marian lets him fasten the necklace about her throat. He lets his fingers caress her skin before moving away, and she releases her hair from where she'd held it out of the way.

"It looks lovely," he says.

"Yes." She glances at it and then at him. "You can't buy me, Guy. You know that, don't you?"

He doesn't know any other way to court her. Kind words don't seem to be enough, and she's a noble who deserves to have gifts, especially gifts that prove he is worthy of her, of providing for her.

"I want to please you," he tells her.

"Deeds are more important to me than words and trinkets." She reaches out, softens her harsh tone by stroking his cheek. "Buy my heart with acts of goodness," she says.

She asks more than he can afford.


	13. Masks (Guy/Marian)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Guy/Marian; disguises  
> Summary: They both disguise themselves, one way or another (s3 spoilers)

Marian dresses as a noblewoman, the expensive fabrics setting her apart from the peasants. Underneath she's the same as others, fearing and suffering the machinations of Prince John, the Sheriff's schemes, and the discrimination thrust upon her by her gender.

Guy worries about his ancestry, his claim to nobility, his lack of lands to call his own. He dresses to show his power, the black leather a clear symbol of his authority. He tolerates no disrespect, shows no weakness.

Marian dresses as the Nighwatchman, male peasant garb concealing both her gender and her status. It's a double act of rebellion and it is exhilarating in its own right, regardless of the good she can do while wearing this costume.

Guy tries to let his guard down with Marian, to win her over. She sees through deceit so easily, yet somehow she still rejects him even in his moments of deepest sincerity when he tries to show her his true face.

The Nightwatchman affronts Guy's sensibilities. The man must be stopped at any cost. It never occurs to Guy that it might be the woman he loves wearing the outlaw's mask.

Tragedy is almost inevitable under these circumstances; yet when it comes Marian faces Guy unmasked and it is his all too real hurt and sense of betrayal that has him react in one moment of madness that he can never undo.


	14. Family (guards, gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Guards; dereliction of duty  
> Summary: The punishments meted out to the guards are severe but they take care of each other when necessary

Cold stone dormitories on the north side of the castle provided shelter for the guards who had no property of their own, ten men to a room.

"Edward! What's wrong?" Raymond asked, awoken by the sound of weeping one night.

"Got whipped," Edward mumbled from under his threadbare blanket.

"What for?"

"Dunno. Derry…derry-lick," Edward said uncertainly.

"Dereliction of duty?" It was an all encompassing offence, anything from sleeping on duty to not being quick enough to respond to an order. The punishment was almost always a whipping. Raymond had suffered the punishment several times.

"Yeah," Edward sniffled.

Raymond got up and went to the chest where he kept his meagre belongings. He took out a tiny jar of salve and went over to Edward, crouching alongside him.

"This'll help," he promised. He moved the blanket away. Edward was prone on the floor, unable to lie on his back. Raymond carefully peeled back Edward's shirt. The lashes had been washed in salt water but nothing else had been done to treat the angry red wounds.

Raymond sang a lullaby from his childhood, carefully rubbing the floral scented salve into Edward's wounds. Edward's hands clenched at Raymond's touch, but soon the ointment took effect. By the time Raymond had finished, Edward had drifted off into what Raymond hoped was a healing sleep.

They had to look out for each other, Raymond thought, placing the jar in the wooden chest. No-one else would.


	15. 3 ficlet  Guy/Allan-a-Dale/Marian story with guest appearance by the guards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bright Side / Hallucinations / Heatwave  
> 3 connected Guy/Allan/Marian drabbles.  
> prompts:  
> Prompt: Allan/Guy/Marian; "It could be worse." Summary: Allan, Guy and Marian are a little tied up…  
> Prompt: Guards; lost in the forest Summary: sequel to Bright Side. Despite their incompetence the guards provide a much needed rescue  
> Prompt: Allan/Guy/Marian; heatwave Summary: Follows on from Hallucinations What's a bit more nakedness between friends?

**Bright Side**

"It could be worse," Allan said cheerfully.

"How, exactly?" Guy asked. "Two men tied up to a post with a naked woman when neither of them are married, nor related, to her."

"One woman," Marian said, "tied to a post with two naked men, neither of whom are wedded at all, nor related to the woman, nor to each other."

Allan thought about this a while. "I admit it don't look good," he said.

"We'll probably all get burned as heretics," Guy said glumly.

"Burning," Allan said. "See, there's a bright spot. We're tied up in the shade at least!" 

**Hallucinations**

Harry wiped sweat from his brow. Surely he was hallucinating. "Ere, William, I'm seeing things."

William frowned. "I'm seeing 'em too. Sir Guy and Lady Marian and that Allan bloke. Naked and tied to a pole."

"Wow, you see exactly what I see," Harry said. "Do you think they know the way out of the forest? We've been lost for hours."

"Um," said the "Allan bloke", "yeah. Untie us, bring us our clothes from that bush where Robin threw them and we'll show you the way. We're very helpful mirages."

Harry was too relived to question this obviously divine intervention.

**Heatwave**

"Go, gentle guards-folk," Allan said. The guards stared at him. 

"Your mirages are telling you to get lost," he said helpfully and they went. Allan, Guy and Marian took the other path back towards the castle.

"I'm going to kill Hood," Guy said.

"You're all talk," Allan said. "Well, maybe not all talk, having seen your delectables for myself."

Marian snorted, blushing bright red. "Delectables?"

"Yours too," Allan reminded her.

"And we yours," Marian said.

"And?" Allan asked, unabashed.

After a few minutes of silence, Guy said, "It is very hot. I think I'll sleep naked tonight."

"Me too," Allan agreed.

"I'm going to bathe before bed," Marian said. "And in this heatwave we should save water. You should come and use my bath water."

"After you?" Allan asked. She merely grinned.

"Wandering around the castle while wet could be dangerous," Guy said as if thinking aloud. "Slippery."

"You'd have to stay in my room until you dried," Marian agreed.

"Find some way to dry off," Allan put in. "Some sort of physical exertion, perhaps?"


	16. Cost/Benefit (implied Allan/Guy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Allan: Djaq  
> Summary: Allan misses some things from his outlaw life and Djaq's skills are what he most misses right now

There were things Allan didn't from miss his outlaw life. (The damp woods; Little John's snoring; Much's singing.) There were things he did miss. (Kinship, laughter around the campfire, Will.)

Today he was missing Djaq and her skills.

The quack physician the Sheriff had finally let him summon had tried prayer and bloodletting, to no avail. Now Allan knelt at Guy's bedside, feeling helpless and alone. Marian was currently in Lincoln and Allan felt her absence keenly.

"Come on, Giz," Allan said. "You can't leave me alone with the Sheriff."

There was no response. Beyond the odd fevered mumble, or moan of pain, Guy hadn't said anything for two days. It frightened Allan and the fact that it frightened him, that Gisborne's fate mattered to him at all, terrified him. 

Allan liked to keep people at arm's length. Joke with them, rob them, pretend to care, but never get involved. And then there'd been Robin and the gang, and now there was Guy, and dammit if he wasn’t caught in a lie if he said he didn't care for any of them.

Allan made up his mind. "I'm going to go and fetch Djaq," he swore. The danger it put him in would be negligible compared to the cost of him not doing so.


	17. Plain Speaking (Much, gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Treat Much Right LJ fic fest fill for the prompt "Is that a euphemism?";-Much, referring to honey in 2x09, "Lardner's Ring"

"Is that a euphemism?" Much asked, receiving a look from Robin. Well it wasn't _his_ fault that there were euphemisms for everything. 

They were fine for the educated nobleman, Robin, or the loquacious Allan, but not for Much. Euphemisms were so confusing. Many years ago, Much had been desperately embarrassed by his inopportune use of the term "polishing the Master's weapon" and now viewed all manner of innocent phrases with suspicion. 

Much was a simple man, with a direct approach to life. He just wished everyone else could see the value in plain speaking, at least more of the time.


	18. Hair (Much, Robin, OCs)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girls swoon over Robin's injury but Much knows the truth.

"Poor Robin," said Abigail as the outlaw went past. "His neck looks sore."

Her younger sister, more interested in dolls than boys, frowned. "It's gotta bandage on, so you can't see if it's sore."

Abigail was not to be stymied so easily. "I bet he hurt himself doing something really romantic, like sneaking into the castle to see Maid Marian. Or something really heroic, like battling Sir Guy."

Not far away, Robin rubbed at his sore neck.

"Serves you right," Much said with satisfaction as he handed out loaves to the poor. "I warned you."

"All right, Much," Robin snapped, having heard this several hundred times already.

"I told you not to keep trying to flick your hair like that, but you just wouldn't listen." Much shook his head. "It's only a mercy you didn't try that hip thrusting thing Allan was doing at the tavern last night."


End file.
